Author Just Didn't Care
by I'm Not Wearing Any Pants
Summary: And you can instantly tell with one glance.


I don't own any Ben 10 characters, nor do I claim. BABYFIC IS GOOD! BABYSUEFIC IS BEST! But only when it's mine. Nobody else's. Plebes! You don't know anything about the canon. I turn my buttocks in your general direction, that you might smell of my farts of condescension. They are scented of roses. At least I prefer to imagine. In reality, they most likely smell of the foulest methane imaginable thanks to my all-fat diet.

D'Void randomly appeared somewhere in the unspecified vicinity of his cute and cuddly little Mary Sue Null Guardian baby's custom designed baby crib which they had in the Null Void. Because gosh darn it's cute. He made a happy fatherly smiley face. It came off a little too psychotic serial killer.

"Time for bed, you little shits," he cooed at them.

They screamed and sob-shrieked while clutching at their little stuffed toys. That they had. In their custom designed baby crib. In the Null Void.

"I'll shut you up by telling you a bedtime story," D'Void said. "Chances are you don't understand human English as a language, but since this story and every single one of the hundreds like it is fucked beyond all reason, we'll go with it! It's cute, damn it!"

Suddenly...can you guess what happens? Can you? I'll wait.

Did you guess?

THE HELPERS, MANNY AND HELEN, SUDDENLY APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE!

To further what little plot there was into furtherness.

"How the fuck do we keep randomly appearing out of thin air in D'Void's posh mansion in the Null Void?! How do we keep getting past all the security without Ben Tennyson's lazy ass around?!" Manny cried in frustration.

Helen put a hand on his shoulder. "It's best not to think about it."

Manny grabbed his head, struggling with the pain and confusion. "But...it...doesn't...MAKE ANY...FUCKING...SENSE!"

D'Void gave them the stink eye. "How dare you suddenly show up again out of thin air in my property to interrupt my absurd cutesy-poo fluff scenario with my Null Guardian Mary Sue babies and make them sob hysterically!" He shook his fist at them. "I'll kick your butts, but good!"

He chased them off. The baby Mary Sue things continued to sob hysterically and never shut up. Ever. Or go away. Ever.

And hour or so later, D'Void came back and dusted off his hands. "That'll show them jerks. I bet they won't show up out of thin air again and dump more simple sentence expository dialogue lines recalling events in Voided at me ever again."

And then HELEN and MANNY magically appeared out of thin air again! Spouting more simple sentence expository dialogue lines recalling the events of Voided, like they always do. Gosh! What a tweest!

"Writing is hard," they yelled in unison.

"Oh my God, shut up!" D'Void shouted. One of his ugly Sue babies tugged on his cape. He yanked it from the creature's filthy, wet maw. "YOU TOO! GOD DAMN!" It scream-sobbed-puked at him.

"Now we shall run away! Because! Uh...well," Helen said. She couldn't think of anything and shrugged. "See ya!"

And then they ran away.

D'Void gave an angry sigh. "Once upon a time in a pocket dimension, far, far away...an insane douchwad of a petty, self-absorbed, obsessed old mad scientist went hunting for new animal specimens in a pocket dimension and got stuck, inexplicably getting rebooted to a entirely different character design. He then appeared in a single weirdly entertaining episode as a super powered freakishly muscular and ruthless overlord. But for some other completely inexplicable reason, he then became ridiculously mischaracterized as a PETA activist animal lover whimpering uke person who hysterically sobbed over dead animals and became obsessively attached to some ridiculously annoying, perpetually screaming and crying baby Null Guardian Mary Sues who he would spend the rest of his time making coo-coo cuteness fluff snuggle family scenes with, or sobbing hysterically over the endlessly reoccurring tragic deaths of, or dying tragically himself from mysterious unexplained illnesses. Even though he was nigh invulnerable to everything and that was the fucking point of the drama in the one episode because nobody but Ben ever figured out how to defeat him up until that moment. Sometimes he turned into a ghost, or a zombie, or a ghost-vampire-zombie. He sometimes ended up with exposed boxer shorts, going on leisurely picnics, or baking cookies and brownies and cakes in the kitchen of his posh mansion in the Null Void. Instead of battling Ben Tennyson. Or even being in any scenarios showing the theoretical events that could have taken place that lead up to Voided. Nothing but sobbing sobby sob mischaracterizations and creepy underwear slash abusive fetishes with eerily misogynistic overtones. Sometimes he battled the rebels and the Helpers who appeared out of thin air to further the plot once in a while. But mostly, he just felt empty inside all day long and wished for death. I mean, a death that didn't involve turning into a ghost afterwards!" He developed a disgusted expression. "There is no happily ever after to this story!"

One of the Sue babies threw their rattle at him. It bounced off his forehead with a loud crack. He grimaced, rubbing the painful bruise that had developed there.

"I hate my life," D'Void muttered

One of the other Sue babies shit itself explosively.

D'Void placed his face in his hands and sobbed. "I should have stayed on earth and been a dentist like mom wanted."

The END


End file.
